This has been the hardest week of my life, and it probably won't get easier for a while. As most of you know, my mom, Wanda Fayne Bush, passed away on Sept 21, one week ago today. She was 84, and had been in very poor health for years; I'm glad she isn't in pain anymore, but that doesn't mean that I won't miss her, and long to have her company again.
The week is a blur, really; in some ways, it feels like it has been years instead of days. I got to see my mom for the last time six days before she died. I am so thankful for that week, and I will never trade those memories for anything. On Sunday, Sept 14, Tyler came down to Jal, and we watched football with my mom, my dad, and my brother, and I grilled steaks. I got to feed her, because she was unable to feed herself. My mom was an avid sports fan, and we have watched football on Sunday afternoons for as long as I can remember.
I left the next day because I had to catch a flight home to Denver. I gave my mom a long hug and kiss, and told her that I loved her and would see her soon. Whenever I had to leave, she would always cry and ask me when I was coming back home again. One of my New Year's resolutions was to spend quality time with family this year, and I have been able to spend quite a bit of time with my mom and dad.
It will be really weird not having her around, like a void you'll never be able to fill. You get used to little things, like walking into the den, and she's in her chair, and you say, "Good morning, Mom." Or picking her brain about events that happened years and years ago. Even though my mom's health was fragile, her brain was sharp as a tack. She was an intelligent and strong woman.
The holidays will be hard this year, but we will make it through, and be thankful for the time that we had with our mom, and also be thankful and grateful that we still have our dad. I will never take time with my family for granted again. I'll write more about her later...
The week is a blur, really; in some ways, it feels like it has been years instead of days. I got to see my mom for the last time six days before she died. I am so thankful for that week, and I will never trade those memories for anything. On Sunday, Sept 14, Tyler came down to Jal, and we watched football with my mom, my dad, and my brother, and I grilled steaks. I got to feed her, because she was unable to feed herself. My mom was an avid sports fan, and we have watched football on Sunday afternoons for as long as I can remember.
I left the next day because I had to catch a flight home to Denver. I gave my mom a long hug and kiss, and told her that I loved her and would see her soon. Whenever I had to leave, she would always cry and ask me when I was coming back home again. One of my New Year's resolutions was to spend quality time with family this year, and I have been able to spend quite a bit of time with my mom and dad.
It will be really weird not having her around, like a void you'll never be able to fill. You get used to little things, like walking into the den, and she's in her chair, and you say, "Good morning, Mom." Or picking her brain about events that happened years and years ago. Even though my mom's health was fragile, her brain was sharp as a tack. She was an intelligent and strong woman.
The holidays will be hard this year, but we will make it through, and be thankful for the time that we had with our mom, and also be thankful and grateful that we still have our dad. I will never take time with my family for granted again. I'll write more about her later...
6 comments:
Ur heart will never stop hurting. U just learn how to live without ur parent in ur life. Just remember we love u an when u need us we will be there!
We all loved her and will miss her a lot. I know she is much happier where she is and would want us to be too.
You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.
Like I told Adrienne, I can't even imagine what you're going through. All I can say is I am very sorry for your loss. I've been thinking about you guys a lot this week. I wish I could write something that was profound and could help you, but I don't think any words could help. All I can say is I have told my mom and grandma I love them more this week and told them how much they mean to me. It really puts things in perspective, and makes me grateful to still have my immediate family.
I know you have a lot of friends and family there for you, but if there is anything I can do, just let me know.
I love you.
Beth, what sweet and kind words you have expressed about your Mom. Know it does get easier and the stabbing pain and tight chest feeling you get when you think of her will gradually be replaced by more happier memories than sad ones. I still miss my dad so much as you will always miss your Mom, but time is a great healer to us all. Love to you my friend! Ara
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